I grew up as an orphan since my father died when I was still six months old and this incident changes everything on how our lives unfolded.
Imagine a single parent – my mom, will provide for her children and make sure their upbringing and future will be taken care of with no proper source of income and stable job way back then is something that you parents will see as a difficulty and make you find options no matter what it takes.
For ten years, my mother worked as a Domestic Helper in Singapore and we will only have a reunion after 2 years if not 4 years.
Being an OFW’s child is confronting. A lot of kids get to talk and see their parents every day while I consider a 10-minute connect call once in a while to my mother, fortunate enough. People will say I am lucky to eat three times a day, but they fail to look past the basic and materialistic needs.
Children are easy to please; give them candy and they will be fine. But sometimes, this attitude of just providing them with material goods leads to a misunderstanding of what the child really needs. It’s not just the money that their OFW parents send them back home so they could buy them new gadgets or branded T-shirts, and send them to a good school, but the love and attention that only their parents could give. I wonder, do OFWs here think often of the feelings of their child? Do they ever wonder how their child is coping with their absence?
My sister and I would always end up being taken care of by our grandma and grandpa. At first, I didn’t really understand why she have to work abroad. I mean there are other opportunities in the Philippines, so why bother going to a different country to find a job, right? But as I grew up, I realized that there are better job opportunities there than in the Philippines. The salary abroad is better which makes it easier to make ends meet.
Most OFW parents justify their absence by saying that they are making a sacrifice for the sake of their children. But this reasoning just isn’t enough. They must also ensure that while away, the emotional and social well-being of their child is assured. When was the last time that you saw your child sleeping? Were you there to hear his or her first word? Witness their first step or first communion? Have you ever cook breakfast for them, or attended their basketball game or recital? Do you still remember when you did any of these? And now you’re hurt, why? Because you were not beside them to catch up on all of these. Or, are you worried because something terrible happened to your child? She might not be able to finish university because she is pregnant.
Your son, on the other hand, has gotten into trouble with the authorities. Who are you to blame now? Is it really their fault that you pampered them to make up for being away? Is it their fault that they had thought of taking extreme measures to make you take notice, or even go back home?
For 10 years, we celebrated Christmas and New Year’s Eve without my mother. Many PTA meetings being missed and even recognition days.
Whenever I receive awards from my school – yes I do have awards during my elementary days hehehe, I am always with my grandma or my sister when I go up the stage, for they pin the ribbon on my chest or receives the certificates.
As I grew up, I get used to her not being around everyday and this makes thing a little complicated because I usually spend most of my time with friends outside exposed with a lot of bad influence and knowing that no parent will correct or scold you once you get home, so yah… keep the fun going.
Until the time comes that my mother finally decided to go home for good and be with us, that was when I was already in 3rd year high school. During the first years is somewhat difficult because I need to adjust to house settings with a mother and later embraces the reality that I am finally into this state.
Being an OFW’s child brought a lot of learnings and it served as a foundation for what I am today.
There are things and affections that I never had as I grew up, but it is a matter of choice and on how you see the situation is. Even the above narration is somewhat painful for a child, I choose the right path and forever grateful for what my mother did for us, for supporting and providing for us.
Now, I am also an OFW for 11 years and counting and luckily that my family is with me in Oman. So I appeal to those parents who have the capability to bring their families through family visa in Oman, please! Bring them here to be with you, you can earn money everyday but you cannot earn those wasted time being away from your loved ones.
